Mark was born in Harlow, Essex on July 11, 1975. He is much loved and will always be remembered by all his friends and family 23.04.10 We often fail to recognise how much of an impact someone has on our lives, until they leave or we lose them, particularly on special occasions or when what was a regular routine gets broken. So what does 2 years without you bring? Peace at last? Acceptance? Not yet, but memories bring a smile more often than tears and there are suspicions that when things randomly fall off shelves, or cats are spooked for no reason, that you are playing silly buggers with us, which usually draws a grin and a good natured comment. The truth is, we miss you as much as ever, but with time has come an ability to adjust to a world that is emptier without you, but that is still full of the things you brought into it. 23.04.2009 So here we are Mark, a year ago today you were taken away from us. They say time flies and that it’s a great healer, but it doesn’t always feel like its flying or healing when you’re living it! It’s amazing the capacity we have to brush ourselves down and get on with things, the pain is still there for all of us, although a grudging acceptance softens the edges a little. While we are all learning to live without your random texts, cheeky grin, the warmth and energy you brought into our lives and waiting to see what car you’ll turn up in next, some things still act as triggers that take us right back to April 23 2008 and before. For me, it’s Abba, I just cannot bear it when I hear them on the radio or even on ‘muchloved’, I’ve tried numerous times to listen to ‘Abba Gold’ on my iPod, but after a few seconds I have to stop it, and not just because it’s Abba (though that’s reason enough for many!) but because they form such a big part of the background of my memories of numerous car journeys we went on together and it reminds me we’ll never get to do it again. I wonder what other people’s ‘triggers’ are? While it’s true that we can take you with us in our hearts wherever we go, it helps me to know I can visit your final resting place for some peace and a chance to think and reminisce without distraction or interruption. The ever changing flower arrangements show this is the same for others too and I am glad. Anyway, the old phrases still ring true, ‘gone but not forgotten’ etc, but for me, the one I hope is truest is that you’re ‘in a better place’ and that you are happy. Love you, miss you. Ricky xxx 30.06.08 New track added today, those of you who know me well will not be surprised it's a Duran Duran!! This song was written about the loss of a loved one and trying to get back to normality, very appropriate I think. R April 23rd 2008 will be forever etched in all of our hearts as the day we lost Mark. There are times when it still doesn't feel real and others when it's painfully real. It's good to see so many childhood photos of him. As most of his enduring friendships were built when Mark was an adult, now everyone can see what an adventurous, playful, fun to be around kid he was! Pictures don't always tell you the whole story though and I would love to read about any adventures or scrapes you got into with Mark, or defining moments you will remember about him. Here are some of mine: There was a big bank at the bottom of our estate, we thought we could ride right up it and we could've, except about halfway up, Mark decided to stop peddling!! Imagine my 'joy' at seeing him stop and slowly tilt backwards, sliding back down the bank 'wearing' his bike. We used to race sometimes, me on a skateboard and him on his bike, one time I was actually keeping up until a wheel came off and I literally 'flew' into the lead!! Mark being Mark, didn't laugh for long, he was always easily upset when he saw others suffering, a trait he never lost. There are a few car journeys that will stay with me for ever as well, the Cobra with the passenger seat that slid forward or backwards depending on if Mark was breaking or accelerating! Flying down country lanes at breakneck speeds in the Esprit S4, thinking 'I have no airbag - aghhhhhh' but looking across at him, with a smile of supreme confidence on his face, that told you he had already found its limit and we were nowhere near it!! The best one though, was when I took him for a spin in the Carlton. He liked cars to be fast enough to scare him, but he quickly got used to them, got bored and moved them on. He told me to drive it hard so he could experience what others felt. When we stopped, he said it was the best anyone else had ever driven it and even he admitted to being 'a bit' nervous!! My Brother Like all of you, I will miss Mark. For now though, my memories are so fresh that I can still relate to him and know exactly what he would do or say if I was talking to him. He was immense fun to be around and never took anything, including himself too seriously. I could talk all day about what I love about him, but I’ll stick to 2 things. His generosity Watching him as a kid, I was always envious of his ability to take things apart and put them back together again. Sometimes, they even worked! As he got older he progressed to bikes and then finally cars. I’ve lost count of how many he bought, did up then sold on for outrageous profits, but when he finally made it to owning the cars we all dreamed about driving; he didn’t keep them to himself. He’d take anyone who was brave enough out for a spin to show what it could do. Not content with that, he would egg you on to have a go and dare you to go that little bit faster. He let me keep the Lotus Carlton for a few weeks, which I thought he was bonkers for, but to trust me that much made me feel very special. His loyalty It seemed to me that it didn’t matter who you were, or what you did, if Mark loved you, or you were his friend, he would defend you to the hilt. Even if you let him down, he would give you another chance. I think he believed there was a good side to everyone and he was prepared to wait and give you a chance to show it. It’s no secret that the last few months hadn’t been the best time for Mark, but there were those that made things more bearable. Karen, you treated him like a son and he adored you. Malcolm I know he thought of you as his “local dad” giving good advice and support when needed; Dan and Lisa you gave him a refuge, friendship and love without asking for anything in return and I want to thank you all on behalf of myself and my mum and dad. I also want to share with you, the image that keeps me going when everything gets too much. Wherever Mark is, I try to picture him driving sideways on a round a bout at about a hundred miles an hour with his head leaning over and a cheeky grin on his face. I’m picturing it now, are you?